Don't ask, don't tell

There are certain things that I really don't want to know. Like your bodily fuctions, for instance, or your sex problems. People are always telling me these things and to be honest, it's a little gross. Get this through your thick skull: I don't want to know!! I didn't want to hear about your rash "down there", and I don't need to know your bathroom schedule, and I sure as hell don't want to hear about your girlfriend's crabs! Here is my personal rule: if I don't ask, then don't tell me.